The Nightmare Before Easter Basket
Definitely not your typical Easter basket but I’ll get into that in a little bit.
Remember when we were kids and still believed that a magical little bunny came around to all the little children and pooped out little colorful eggs? Well I do, fondly. I would leave carrots under my bed before we left to my grandmothers house for Easter dinner and the Easter egg hunt but I made the mistake of mentioning my rabbit buffet to my dad who for many years would replace the carrots with a handful of jelly beans. The first time I found those jelly beans I was so in shock I couldn’t even talk for like 5 minutes. Mind you I was 14 years old.
Well I’m 37 now and have since found out to my dismay that there is no Easter Bunny but I still love the hippity hoppity whimsicalness off the whole thing. I’m also in a position to leave my little mark on Easter. I am none other than Sir Paul (remember my name you’ll be screaming it later, saw it on a funny shot glass which we sell by the way along with a cool selection of other funny shot glasses) on BaronBob.com. I know it doesn’t really mean too much to you but I always wanted to say that. Well here at BaronBob.com we pride ourselves in being the webs wackiest gift gallery. We do things a little different here in NJ, we think waaaay outside the box. This thinking is what inspired the Nightmare Before Easter Basket. Seen from across the room the basket resembles any other cheesey super market bought run of the mill Easter basket. Upon closer examination your eyes are drawn to the word BACON, why would there be bacon in an Easter basket? You read the colorful red tin and it says ‘Bacon Gumballs’. Little bit of a shock so you scan the other contents, Giant Gummy Bear. Okay looking good. Cupcake Frosting Flavored Dental Floss, that’s pretty cool right? Wait, crickets? Really? Not just any crickets, Bacon & Cheese Crickets. Spotted, is another cool looking round tin but your experience with the other cool tin was weird to say the least. This one is no different but very intriguing, you gotta admit. Onion Ring Flavored Mints! You notice the Giant Gummy Snake intertwined with the handle. That thing alone can keep a kid quiet and still for about 3 hours but bouncing off the walls afterwards, the double edged sword. So plan accordingly. Give this to your kid 3 hours before dropping them off at your ex-spouses house.
Back to the basket. Okay at this point the clear plastic and pretty bow are on the ground and you’re really getting into this basket. You see a box with the familiar Jelly Belly logo on it and those things are amazing. Across the box in big bold letters the name of the jelly beans, BeanBoozled. What a really cool idea. Listen to this. 20 flavors. 10 really good flavors and 10 really gross, disgusting flavors. You won’t know if your popping yummy Berry Blue or Toothpaste. Black Licorice or Skunk Spray. Make a game of it! There’s a pretty cool little fire extinguisher that sprays some Super Sour Spray which could help with the taste of that Skunk Spray Jelly Bean. You notice there’s a diaper in the basket. They couldn’t have, could they? Na, but oh yeah they did! You open the diaper to find a cute little chocolate turd in a bag. The trick is to pop the little chocolate poo in the microwave for a few seconds right before you give it to someone. I have a kid and I remember those diapers being pretty warm after a good poop. What kind of candy could possibly come in a toilet? The good sour kind, what else? Comes with a lollipop to dip in the toilet like you’ve always wanted to. Where there’s super sour Toilet Candy there’s gotta be weird critters like a Giant Gummy Rat, also in the basket. The center piece of this insain creation of off beat treats is the traditional hollow chocolate Easter Bunny. This one is for all my traditional old schoolers. Wouldn’t be an Easter Basket with out one.
You know, this would make a really funny gift. Imagine walking into your in-laws Easter dinner with The Nightmare Before Easter Basket in hand? A gag gift to your 8 year old who eats way too much candy as it is? Or your 11 year old nephew who eats the Dog Food Jelly Bean first and starts an autopsy on the Salt ‘n Vinegar Cricket. Bring one to the office party and tell everyone to help themselves. They will be talking about the really cool things in this basket for years to come. Don’t keep the Bacon Gumballs or the Onion Ring Mints to yourself, hand them out. Just don’t tell anyone the flavor until you get to see the reaction on their face. Get that on video and if you do send it to me, paul@baronbob.com
Check it out for yourself. http://www.baronbob.com/alternative-funnyeasterbasket.htm
That’s all I have to say about that.
About the Author
“Follow Me Monday” Creative Easter basket Ideas!
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